I feel stupid. Often - and for so many reasons, the greatest of them being that it feels like I'm always thinking about topics which should be left alone. It's something that I don't really feel comfortable confiding in anyone with, as with many other things. I guess that's why sometimes my posts are extremely vague - I want to tell someone about something, but I don't know how to without feeling worse about myself or making myself look like some retard. Occasionally, when I do open up about one of these topics, I can't seem to make myself stop splurging everything I've kept inside about it, and so even though I can sense that whoever's listening no longer wants to hear about it, I force it all out.
This particular one that's been eating at me for a while now though just can't seem to understand that I no longer want those thoughts to linger in my mind. Just like in the movie 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', I wish we had the ability to erase things from our minds - not just people, but events, places, specific memories and so on as well. /wishfulthinking
yeah I know how you feel. I often open up on Soompi about how I feel and just leave the thread alone because I know there will be people there criticizing me. But it feels good to let it out somewhere. sigh...
ReplyDelete