너는누구? 나는..

Before I was awarded credits for my psychology course this year, I attended the first lecture and I learned - or rather, realized - something important. In any given relationship or interaction with anyone other than yourself, there are essentially 6 "people" who are involved:

1. Who you think you are.
2. Who you think they are.
3. Who you think they think you are.
4. Who they think they are.
5. Who they think you are.
6. Who they think you think they are.

If only it was as simple as being who you are, and who they are. Although I'm speaking the impossible of course.

Ever since I was young and was introduced to superhero shows including those like 'The Invisible Man', "The Incredibles', "Superman' and so on, I've always had this (childish) fear in the back of my mind that there are certain people in the world who are gifted or cursed with superhero powers. I used to even believe in the Genie's lamp, and would make sure that I knew of three things that I wanted at any moment in time. Anyway, that's besides the point. I used to think something to myself, and moments later think "Oh no, what if someone heard that? I better think the opposite thing in case someone is listening in on my thoughts." I know, it's stupid right? I guess it just became a habit since I was young, so occasionally I will surprise myself by repeating that thought even nowadays.

I used to fear people listening to my thoughts, because I thought that they would find me ugly at heart and dumb in the mind. Now, I wish people could hear everything that I'm afraid to say aloud and more. And that makes me think - some people just seem so.. predictable, but I wonder if that's how others see me as well. They say that the eyes are the windows to your soul, but no matter how long or how hard I try to take a glance inside, the more I feel that I am inept at understanding anyone, including myself.