Instead of doing the english study that I should be doing, I'm going to write a quick blog post since it's been such a long time. I become a little disappointed each time I check back on one of the blogs on following, only to see that there are no new posts since the last time I checked! Generally I'd say I check for updates .. oh, only maybe one hundred million times a day. Okay, that's more than just a bit of an exaggeration, but I am always eager to read the inner thoughts of my beloved writers. There's a strong correlation between my most recent behaviour and general attitude, to the absence of my writing through my blog though - that is, my blog reflects my recent laziness and de-motivation to write anything. It's not like I haven't been feeling anything - my moods always go through cycles of ups and downs. It's just that of late, I haven't been bothered to put my feelings down from head to blog. And paired with that, I must say that I'm honestly becoming quite scared of writing how I feel here now - it feels like it's just here for the entire world to read about my vulnerable side.
Well, on from the intro and formalities.. I'm wishing that certain things in my life hadn't happened, particularly as I talk through them with people around me. Well, they're not all things that I can control - some are concerning other events which I couldn't possibly change or take control of. I've had a lot of time to reflect back on me, and I don't really like the person I am at the moment. The thing is, I want to change and I know how, but I have a side of me which is extremely stubborn and won't let me have my way. Yeah, well, that's my fault too =.= Gahhh if you know what to do, it's only a matter of following the instructions dumbass. Why can't you even do that. Oh well, I'm just going to go with the flow and see how things turn out, and hopefully they'll turn out for the better =]
I've wasted a bit of time writing and I'm feeling very guilty for not focusing on English, so I'll come back and write at a time when I don't have anything else I should be doing [never?]. Ciao!
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