I absolutely change my mind

Within 30 minutes of ... doing that... my mind has completely changed. I think I understand why I've been avoiding doing this for so long. I can understand why I completely didn't want to associate myself with anything from all that shit. I can see. I just fucking hate you. Everything that is said sounds like a lie - whether it be a truth or not is not of my concern. My trust exists no longer. I denied it before... I thought that I could believe; that maybe I would get something good out of doing all this. But no. I should have just listened when they told me not to. I went against my instincts, because they had been the catalyst for this in the beginning. And so I thought I could reverse what had been done. No, not even reverse.. maybe just take a few steps out of the mud that I'm stuck in, and begin once again. Fuck you.