Hermmm

So what have I been thinking about lately ...? I don't know what's been running through my head. Or rather, I haven't thought about anything of great importance , hence me not being able to remember... Well, I guess I've been thinking about how much people can change. First impressions definitely don't last long in my case, and the friends I knew since I was young have gone through drastic changes. I sometimes wonder, if I had stayed close friends with my childhood friends, would I be the me now? Would they have ended up how they are now? I wonder how much of a difference one friend can make to another's life. When I say 'life' I'm referring to their mind processes and psychological developments. I, for one, am easily influenced by the people around me. Everything from my fashion sense to my personality to my attitude towards things (ie school, etc) can be affected by people around me who have strong opinions regarding each subject matter. Sometimes I look at other asian cliques and pinpoint certain people and think to myself "wow, that could have been me". It's true. The butterfly effect - where the flap of a butterfly's wing can lead to immense changes. Bleh, I'm speaking in metaphorical terms of course. Call it whatever you want - butterfly effect, ripple effect, whatever. I believe it's true ..

Ah, and another thing that popped into one of my random conversations tonight: people who are secretive. I know that some people choose to be extremely secretive and like to keep things to themselves. But .. in the future, if they refuse to divulge any kind of personal secretive information about themself to another, does that become a barrier in their relationship? I have recently reunited (over the net) with a friend who I knew when I was little, then lost contact with for almost 10 years. It's been so long that until about a week ago, I didn't even know that he was a year older than me, because things like that weren't important when we were little. Now, this guy is extremely secretive, which got me thinking about how one makes close friends. I think that that's one of the defining factors which determine whether you can become close to someone or not - in order to become close to someone, it is inevitable that you will have to open up to each other sooner or later. If you don't, why would your relationship be so different to one between you and a stranger you met on the street? Sure, your friend might know a little more about you, but it would probably be nothing the stranger couldn't find out through other people or the net, unless you really opened up to your friend and told them something that wasn't just common knowledge which could be told to anyone. It's regretful that I've opened up to a few people, but as time passed our bonds weakened and in the end, didn't remain close friends .. but it's worth putting in the effort for people who you believe are trustworthy and could potentially become your bestie for life. Okay, you might not think of it that way, but basically what I'm saying is that everyone deserves a chance. For example, when I first met Tommy at James An, we never even exchanged so much as a glance or a simple "hi". After getting to know him a bit better at QAHS, I pried open his shell little by little and I'd like to believe now that we're inseparable for life :) That only happened because we both put in the effort to get to know each other, and of course opened up to each other. Yep, and I think it was worth it. Ah, back to the point - no matter how secretive you are, eventually you'll need to open up to people you really care about if you want to become closer (and remain close) to them.