Now after thinking [for about 10 minutes] I'm wondering whether all this confusion is stemmed from growing up. Puberty. Adolescence. Just being a teen. Surely I can't be the only person who feels confined to a tiny grey box with a tiny peephole at the top? No, that can't be right. Maybe it's just a phase that I'll pass through, get over, look back and think "Wow what a fucked up child I was.. But it's alright, I was just a kid".
I want to start afresh. I want to be born again. I want to relive the joys of being a child. Because my biggest worry would probably peeing my pants from being too excited. I want to visit the days where I could be invited to mini tea parties, and pretend to be adults. But we're still just kids. I want to learn how to swim, and I want to be taught how to ride a bicycle. I want to be the special one - the unblamed, wanted child. I'm so sick of being pushed around because I'm too afraid to voice my opinions. What I think. How I feel. Because I'm scared of rejection. I don't want them to think any worse of whatever image they may currently have of me.
Wow I seem like such an insecure attention seeking bitch. Okay screw the bitch part. But I feel like a lost puppy. An orphan. A fly in a spider's web. All at once. lol Maybe I think too much.. And just MAYBE I'm blogging too much and relying on this site to relieve me of my stress. But hey, what's wrong with doing that.. That's the exact reason why I created it in the first place.
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